sitcorn:

"yeah, everything’s fine, i just tucked your kid into bed. but can i cover up the clown statue in the corner? it’s freaking me out"

"what? we dont have a kid. take our clown statue and get out of the house right now"

(via espeons)

☄ Picture of you
♥ Name of crush
☯ Religion
✉ State of origin
♬ Favorite song/s
♪ Favorite band
☑ Full name
Ω Favorite Book
♘ Favorite Animal
✞ Are you religious
☥ Cats or dogs
☝ Dominant hand
♨ Ocean or Lake
♉ Star Sign
♧ Eye color
✌ Favorite character
✏ Writer or reader
☪ Hair color
♂ Gender
✈ Last vacation
☍ Silver or gold

(Source: triforce-powers, via gottalovethekenways)

50 Shades of Me.

  • 1. What is your best friends name?
  • 2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?
  • 3. What are you listening to right now?
  • 4. Whats your favorite number?
  • 5. What was the last thing you ate?
  • 6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?
  • 7. How is the weather right now?
  • 8. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
  • 9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
  • 10. Do you have a significant other?
  • 11. Favorite TV show?
  • 12. Siblings?
  • 13. Height?
  • 14. Hair color?
  • 15. Eye Color?
  • 16. Do you wear contacts?
  • 17. Favorite Holiday?
  • 18. Month?
  • 19. Have you ever cried for no reason?
  • 20. What was the last movie you watched?
  • 21. Favorite Day of the Year?
  • 22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?
  • 23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?
  • 24. Hugs or Kisses?
  • 25. Chocolate or Vanilla?
  • 26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?
  • 27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?
  • 28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?
  • 29. What books are you reading?
  • 30. Piercings?
  • 31. Favorite movies?
  • 32. Favorite football Team?
  • 33. What are you doing right now?
  • 34. Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn?
  • 37. Dogs or cats?
  • 38. Favorite flower?
  • 39. Been caught doing something you weren't supposed to do?
  • 40. Do you have a best friend of the opposite sex?
  • 41. Have you ever loved someone?
  • 42. Who would you like to see right now?
  • 43. Are you still friends with people from kindergarten?
  • 44. Have you ever fired a gun?
  • 45. Do you like to travel by plane?
  • 46. Right-handed or Left-handed?
  • 47. How many pillows do you sleep with?
  • 48. Are you missing someone?
  • 49. Do you have a tattoo?
  • 50. Anybody on Tumblr that you'd go on a date with?

oknope:

can we skip this whole “college” thing and go straight and go to the part where i have a really awesome job and spend all my time traveling?

(via essijau)